In order then.

Day One - Aquarion Starts Looking For Work

* Aquarion applies for job
* Recruiter phones up Aquarion, offers different job, sounds interesting.
* Recruiter sorts out interview. Sends Aquarion address.

Day Five

* Interview with Lead Dev for Company. Goes really well. Ends discussing what 
we'll start working on when I start.
* Phone Interview with CEO. Asks me if I am willing to go around the recruiter. 
As in general, I say no to this.

Day Six

* Recruiter phones Company. Company say "No", for reasons of Recruiter being 
pushy, annoying, asking too much and, finally, demanding full payment for 
placement (10% of first year's salary) in advance, no matter whether I quit in 
the first day or not. Company unwilling to risk this.

(This is, in fact, partially both sides to blame. Recruiter being annoying, 
Company being tight. However, company being tight does mean they've held onto 
their VC a bit longer than others, and they've been bitten quite hard before by 
this issue).

Days Seven -> Fourteen

Nothing happens.

Day Fourteen

* One of my co-workers meets the company's tech team at an event. Tech team say 
"We like him, but the recruiter's fees are too high"
* Recruiter still hasn't got back to me about results. Says company are Thinking 
About It.

Day Fifteen.
 
* Recruiter phones me to tell me they've said "No" and it "Might be they're 
having finantial difficulties"
* I break long-standing policy of not bypassing recruiters, as I actually want 
the job they're failing to get me.

(This isn't a nice thing to do. The recruiters get their money from introducing 
people to companies, and I'm basically costing them money. On the other hand, 
they weren't going to make any money from this anyway since they failed. On the 
alternate and, doing this reenforces why they charge the money in advance, which 
is what caused the issue in the first place. Companies would hire the 
recruitered person, they'd "not pass" trial period, and then they'd rehire them 
outside the original agreement. In a competition between my fundermental desire 
to be in the right and my fundermental desire to pay the rent, however, it 
appears I'm willing to tarnish my limited honour).

* Company say they will phone me back.

Day Twenty One.

* Become unemployed. 
* Hear rumour that Company are laying off most of their staff. Realise this is 
why nobody's got back to me.
* Get quite drunk.

Day Twenty Six

* Get Twitter Direct Message from CEO of Company asking if I'm willing to come 
in for a second interview between christmas and New Year.
* Am.
* Arrange for interview on Day Thirty Two

Day Thirty Two

* Am interviewed
* Get job and fill in gaps above.